Back to School Blues?
Kids Come Home "Guns Blazing"
(Not Literally, But You Know What I Mean)
As a parent, you’ve likely experienced your kids coming home from school with intense energy, ready to fight, throw tantrums, talk back, and leave their school bags wherever they please. It can feel like you’re getting the “worst” of their behavior.
I remember one particularly stressful day when my three kids came home in this state. During our half-hour drive home, it became clear that they had all had a stressful day at school.
To help them de-stress, I decided on a spontaneous, fun activity. I grabbed cans of shaving foam, and let them go wild on our dining table, playing, drawing, and smearing it everywhere. It was a mess, but it really helped them transition and release their pent-up stress.
Are Your Kids Coming Home "Loaded" or Exhausted?
Here are some reasons your child might come home feeling overwhelmed like they have no tolerance or capacity left to show any restraint and everything seems to be way too much for them.
Lack of Control: At school, they’re constantly being told what to do and when to do it, with few choices in the matter, from when to eat, go to the toilet, what to write, what to read, when to play, when talk, when to be silent. This can leave them feeling controlled, having to be very restrained for long periods and even feeling powerless.
Social Dynamics: Navigating the social dynamics of the playground or classroom can be exhausting. They’re trying to figure out where they fit in and what’s expected of them. This is not only challenging for young children, but teenagers who are constantly sensitive to fitting in, finding acceptance among peers.
Emotional Strain: Children have to constantly keep their emotions in check throughout the day, not always having time to process them and this is tough. Rejection, feeling unwanted, or not fitting in can take a toll.
Cognitive Challenges: Schoolwork can be difficult and often includes tasks they don’t enjoy or find hard, making it mentally draining, and always feeling like they are being assessed and tested.
Lack of Processing Time: Some kids need to verbally process their experiences, but they might not get the chance to do so at school. You might have to be that person for them. What a privilege it is to be a safe trusted adult to listen to them and accept them, not judging them.
Kids need an outlet and a safe space to release what they’ve held in all day. As their parent/carers, you are their safe place. They trust you with their worst moments and biggest feelings.
Are You Prepared for When They Come Home?
- Have Food Ready: Start with snacks to replenish their energy.
- Be Present: Listen to them without trying to solve all their problems. This can be tough, but it’s important.
- Ask Fun Questions: Try questions like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the best joke you heard?” You may like to check out my free conversation starter cards. Link below.
- Minimize Distractions: Avoid being busy with dinner prep. Make an easy dinner or prepare it in advance.
- Allow Wind-Down Time: Give them some time to relax before starting homework or chores.
- Reassure Them: Remind them they are loved and safe.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge their efforts in restarting the term, even if it was challenging.
A loving and caring parent/carer showing up for a child is enough to make a wonderful difference in their world! Even if we aren’t perfect, you being present with that one or two children helps shape their world forever.
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